Star Wars: Revival of the Force
by Ashante7
Summary: SPOILERS! This story takes place after Star Wars Episode IX The Rise of Skywalker in an alternate reality in which Kylo Ren doesn't tragically died but instead is given new life where Rey discovers something she didn't train for. The light and dark sides of the force finds balance inside each other in this brutal tale of fierce devotion, rough intimacy and hard truths.
1. Chapter 1 - Dawn

**STAR WARS: REVIVAL OF THE FORCE**

**CHAPTER 1 - DAWN**

_WARNING! SPOILERS! In this story, the timeline begins at the end of Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker. In this rendition, Kylo Ren does not collapse and die on Exogol after healing Rey. Instead, they must undergo something much harder than death told through Rey's point-of-view._

* * *

It started in a blaze of heat.

There were flames and lasers flying in every direction. Fire was consuming the surrounding structure and engulfing my view. Everything lay in ruble at my feet while ash mixed into the dirt, which set a dense glow to the scared battle field. Smoke hung in the sky above and burned my worn eyes. It all didn't seem real. The clothes left on my body were tattered and barely clinging to my skin now branded with the blisters of a new victory. Or was it? Destruction blanketed the scene and conquest roared in my ears. In the middle was his dark figure lit from behind by the fire. It lavished him as he hovered above me uncertainly. The edges of my vision were faded around the corners as I struggled to control my breathing. It was coming out in slow, irregular breaths.

From what I could still observe overhead, it was clear the battle taking place was being won by those loyal to the Rebel Alliance flight. The eerie lightening assault had subsided with the expiration of the Sith Order. This in turn had freed the starships and spacecrafts that were fighting against the Galactic Empire. Sparks rained down, covering everything in their path and setting fire to what was left. The Rebel's were being backed up by those brave enough to stand against the dread Empire in order to take back the Galaxy. These sparks of combat mixed with the heat of the air that had me chocking. It was becoming more difficult to breath. To think.

The Rebel's stood a chance with Emperor Palpatine finally vanquished. Palpatine was gone. His bloodline would fade with him. I had killed him. I had vaporized the Palpatine name to whom I owed nothing. Letting my past go up in smoke at the same time. He was gone just like Supreme Leader Snoke had been exterminated from this plane of existence. An existence in which light triumphed over dark. An existence in which I had not done it alone. An existence in which I wasn't alone. My hands were limp and tingling as if I had lost the feeling in them. Come on, think. I had to try to concentrate.

The dark side's powers could no longer aid the Empire or its commanders. We had done that. They were melting into the past all around us. All their leaders and accompanying cowards would soon be eliminated just as their Star Destroyers fell to into the ash at our feet. Wait, no, that's not right. I could still feel my mind pulling out of focus. Think. No, one of their leaders is here. He's right next to me. Breath. That's right, I can feel his hot breath caressing my face. Or was I distorting things again. No. It was us that had killed Palpatine. We had killed him together. We.

He wasn't the Supreme Leader of the First Order anymore because Kylo Ren had vaporized along with Palpatine.

The man sitting before me was the man I had been waiting to meet. This was the destined son of Han Solo and Leia Organa. He was right here. I could feel his arms wrapped around me. This realization reminds me of the heat. Sweat dripped down the back of my neck. Breath. This was new. How did his arm get around me? His touch burned into me so vividly. Focus. I was in the arms of Ben Solo. Breath again. No, wait, am I being misguided again? This is Ben Skywalker holding me in the surrounding glare of the fire. This notion somehow made me feel...clearer.

This was Ben.

I straightened up slightly and realized my vision had been blurred but was coming back. It came back enough for me to recognized, whoever he was, he was staring at me only inches away. He wasn't saying anything but instead his eyes were searching my face. They seemed to be searching for clues among the aftermath of what we had done. Or were they looking for what we might do next? I was unsure. Was it both? His eyes were darting back and forth as his hand rested on my chest, rising and falling in rhythm with my breathing. Listening to the chaos battling above. Remember to breath.

As we sit breathing together, my focus became sharper and I realized my arms were wrapped around him too. How had that happened? Was I always here? Always next to him. I was getting spacey again. Pause. Yet he was the one who had extended his hand to me. Think. Take a breath. Looking up into his face, I began to frantically search his face for answers too. The force could be felt whirling through the air, building up a presence, bringing everything to a boiling point.

I have to say something, anything, if only to help find my center again. Speak. But what do I say? What is there to say? The gravity of our actions began to weigh down heavily on our shoulders. I could feel my body aching and throbbing from the weight of it all. How do I begin to understand what we have both done? Or worse, what will we do next? Are the same questions echoing in his mind? It was as if our questions had a pulse. The word "we" could be felt jumping up and down in the force between us. Resting even heavier on our shoulders. Focus. Just who are we? Breath. It kept pulling. It was becoming too much. Speak. Speak now!

"Ben?"

It fell out from between my lips like a sigh. A sigh of relief and my shoulders began to lift. It was a single question that summed up all the questions I could feel between us strung together on the force. It was the only question that really mattered. As my shoulders lifted so did my eyes to meet his. As we locked eyes, there were no more words. His expression said it all. He was showing me Ben's face. A face that no longer held pain hidden behind a scar. I had healed the scar that had been smeared across his face. I had healed it back in the ruins of his grandfather's Death Star. I had healed him. I had healed him? That's where the Skywalker's dark side started to fade. I had felt that. I hoped Han had felt it there too.

Originally, I had lashed out in fear...and admittedly, also in anger, which had left a lasting scar down his face and materializing his mask deeper into his being. Yet, I'd also been able to heal that same fear and anger...and pain with the binding force between us. I could see passed the pain and the scar from the past emulating the dark side. A shadow of the past. It was at this time overshadowed by a gentleness to his features that had not been there before. This is the man I had been waiting to meet. This was Ban. He was always there underneath the pain and scars. The appearance of gentleness in him was the final confirmation that set my nerves a blaze.

White hot fire pumped through my vein bringing me back to life. He had brought me back to life. Without another thought, I lifted my hand to touch his face. My touch was rough and smudged with ash but undeniably real. I had to be sure he wasn't a hologram or a ghost that would slip through my fingers. He did not finch at the contact. Even behind the dark smear of ash from my hand running down his face, I could see the color rise in his cheeks as he became flushed at my caress. It was warm to the touch. I hadn't realized I had been yarning this much to meet Ben. To touch him. I had challenged him to come forth and resist the dark side but there was more to it than that. He was always alluring and pulling me in deeper.

The flow of force pulsed between us again but this time without obstacles. I could see him and touch him this time. There was no more Kylo Ren. I simply acted as my newest impulses gave way to something new. Pause. What were we doing? My hand recoiled back then hesitated freezing in the space between us. Breath. I had been fighting against all my impulses to be close to him for so long but now it seemed impossible. The fighting was over. It was crumbing all around us.

So I kissed him.

I drew myself close and closed my eyes. Ben's arms wrapped around behind me as my hands further locked around his jaw line. My lips searched his as he found his way around my fevered kisses. We breathed in each other as movement filled our bodies. I could feel our teeth graze each other as we departed into each others depths. Deeper. There was no more space between us as we pressed our chests together. We collided. I could feel my nails pressing into his skin, which seemed to elicit a smile from him. I could feel it against my own lips. Wait, is he smiling?

I held my breath as I slightly pulled back to get a glimpse of his face. There it was, Ben was smiling. It wasn't a full smile but there it was lightly played out across his lips along with ash and sweat streaks. He was beautiful. I let my breath fall out of my sore mouth and warmth rushed through me. I crashed my mouth back onto his harder. I wanted to feel that smile more. I wanted to feel it's warmth inside me. Deeper.

My mind was hammering from today's ordeals followed by the exertion of force but my skin was on fire everywhere he brushed up against me. Mind and body conflicted over the raw emotion pouring out of every extremity. He was everywhere and his body was consuming. He was body was undoubtedly larger but up close I felt it loom over me. Since we met, he had consumed me as hard as I fought not to be dragged in. We had communicated every which way. We had used words and signals. We even spoke louder through fighting and blood shed as well as grown closer while training to use the force. We'd stolen moments across the Galaxy in short timeless space. He could see the rain and feel the wetness when it poured down on me. I could see him when he was vulnerable and least expecting it in his chambers alone like I was alone in my hut. We even healed each other's battle wounds. The wounds we caused each other. We had hurt. We had longed. We had connected.

Our thoughts had already flowed but this was the last form of expression left to us. I craved his connection and this new physical way didn't require us to be anything other than human. Everything was changing and I dared not to open my eyes yet as our fevered kisses clashed against each other. I wanted to give way to everything. We had been fighting for so long.

Knowing each others' minds seemed to make it easier to find a rhythm to our bodies as they fell on each other. Our movements were driving me closer. Closer to him? If so, then what was I moving away from? I wasn't sure how but my legs lifted to wrap around his wide waist. They were acting on their own to try to hold our position. A position grinding me further down into him. What would we do next? This position allowed me to bend my head higher than his. It granted me access to attack his lips from the above with my own. I could hardly hear the crashes in the background as the rushing blood in my ears drowned out all other nosies. Breath. His arms tightened around my neck and he used this vantage point to press me further down on him. Eagerly, I wove my hand into his long hair to keep his head angled towards my own.

I wanted to devour all of him. I wanted all of him. I wanted him inside me.

My lips parted to grant him passage into my mouth. To steady myself, my other hand clutched his cheat. I could feel him pressing from underneath. Focus. My hands began roaming around his chest to find support where I could feel tight muscle through the thin fabric. Our lips melded in passion, which held us suspended in this moment, damp with our sweat.

We only separated to pant for more air. Breath. My eye had opened at the feeling of separation that let a chill breeze pass between us. For a breif moment, I could peer down into his face again. The intensity I had held onto since he first extended his hand to me had been pouring out of me. Back then, I had wanted so desperately to take his hand. This time, Ben was firm within my grasp. I closed my eyes again and tightened my fingers to grab hand full of his hair in order to push his face up into mine. I wanted to feel him extended into me again. To press against me. Without knowing why, I rocked forward and collided into him with my hips. At this movement, I heard an audible noise escape his lips. It set me a blaze. Awakened, I rocked down again but this time he met me half way. It threw me off balance.

Then, everything changed again. All of a sudden, I was flipped around onto the ground in a wild rush. I landed with a airy thud immediately followed by the weight of his body. At the same time, his knee fell between my legs and he placed his hand on my waist to align us. In this upheaval, Ben's lips had bent down to find my neck and his teeth scraped the skin left visible. Burning my throat. My hands had not left his hair but were left gripping on to him harder.

Unfortunately, my eyes snapped opened at the unbalance that smacked me in the back spraying ash into the air. Chocking me. I could see above us now and the world was still on fire. The sky was filled with ash and smoke and fire. It was burning with ships and debris, which were falling to the ground...what was that? Wait. Breath. I tried to squeeze my eyes shut but all I saw were the flames behind my eye lids. I could feel the heat. Focus. What had we done? And who had won? Breath. What were we doing? His touch burned. There was heat all around. Breath. Everything was on fire. My throat burned.

"Rey?" My name cut through the haze.

I heard Ben say my name again. He was still resting against me but all that I could see was the was a battle field. I felt a cold wave wash over my body and I could feel my face growing wet with tears. Everything was on fire surrounding us. Everything was on fire except us.

"Rey." It wasn't a question this time.

Ben gently, hesitantly leaned his forehead down on mine as his body went limp above me. Our sweat began to mix with my tears, stinging my face. It felt like everything was unraveling. Focus. There it was, I had been holding something else back and now it was pouring down my face in big, watery tears. I slowly closed my eyes under the weight of it. Under the weight of him. With my eyes closed, we lay there breathing together. Chest to chest, our bodies were finding the rhythm. It was a slower rhythm. Were his eyes open? Breath. Was he still searching? Or was everything clearing up for him too?

As if on queue, or maybe he was still reading my mind, his hands gradually slid up the length of my arms to firmly grip my shoulders to hold me down as if I were about to escape or disappear from under him. I closed my eyes. It was like he could feel me slipping through his fingers again. He was right, I had wanted to escape. To disappear. To run...I was always running. But now I couldn't. I couldn't run from this. Run from this battle field or from him. There we lay locked together. It felt like an eternity laying there listening to the fighting diminish as my tears stained the ash darker. All I could feel was his heartbeat as I forced my eyes to stay shut.

Then all at once, eternity was over.

In the far off background, thuds could be heard as rushing air passed by our still forms. Neither of us moved. The thuds became louder and shouts were filling the empty space. The Galaxy was closing in on us. The force surged as lights began approaching. As the lights became brighter, we could both feel it. Again, I asked myself, what would we do next? My breath quickened and I could feel him heavier on me.

Ben spoke for us. He leaned in to brush his lips on my ear and say, "Rey?" The question rolled between us. He felt the words before they escaped my lips, "Let go." My response hung in the air for a minute. There was a pause before he raised his head to hover just above me with an unmistakable expression. He was beaming with relief. At what, I was not completely confident. As I contemplated, he rolled over onto the ground next to me with an audible exhale but kept our hand still loosely intertwined. I tried to look over but between the wind and his long hair, his face was now obscured.

Suddenly, they were upon us with lights and weapons, bringing back the noise of the universe that had kept fighting around us. The fight was not over for all. What we had done was not the end of the fighting. It was not over. Yes, we had destroyed Palpatine and his devoted following but what else could the others know. Kylo Ren had also been killed in this battle and they had to know. But how? There wouldn't be much time. I had to act fast. I had to tell them and I had to hurry! I looked over to see Ben slowly starting to stand. But still I knew, he wasn't in his armor or mask nor was this the Empire's Kylo Ren but how would anyone else know the difference on appearance. I quickly got to my feet and throw out my hands to signal.

Still hidden in the smoke, Ben hurriedly lunged forward crashing into me and gripping my shoulders. He whispered, "Let's go together." right before everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2 - Space

**STAR WARS: REVIVAL OF THE FORCE**

**CHAPTER 2 - SPACE**

_WARNING! SPOILERS! In this story, the timeline begins at the end of Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker. In this rendition, Kylo Ren does not collapse and die on Exogol after healing Rey. Instead, they must undergo something much harder than death told through Rey's point-of-view._

* * *

When I regained consciousness, everything was cold and dark. The explosive heat that had consumed me much of the last few days. It had end in the most firey of ways that had seeped into my very bones but everything on the surface had gone cold. Bleak. Everything in space was overwhelming bleak. The space between me and heat that it was like coming out of a haze. I was alone again. Space was stark in comparison to the blazing battle field that Exogol had become. It was as if the heat had been extinguished in the aftermath of the fall of the Galactic Empire. Or were they both laying dormant. The swirl of emotions had begun to settle around us all. The Galaxy had entered into a new what? A new time period...stage...phase...cycle...era. All around there were signs of pride, compassion, happiness, empathy, sympathy but also agony, hardship, sorrow, concern, anger and fear.

The Galaxy was relieved at the recent victory but followed by the hardship of anguish and remorse. The pending power struggles that would soon ensue left much room for leaders to step forward in order to usher in a new era. An era not yet marked or defined. This kept tensions high among survivors. Everything would change to right the current unbalance. These thoughts roared around command rooms aboard starships and sparked up on the ground of every planet in the Galaxy. No one was ready to let their guard down. Loss had been felt by all and memories still played vividly in the light. After the Great Jedi Purge, the Jedi Order was not in place this time the dark side fell. Could there be balance without either light or dark governing? Was it the need for control that continued to leave the Galaxy unbalanced? And at the heart of it was me. A Palpatine Jedi. A warrior or a peace keeper?

After I woke up aboard a Rebel Alliance Star Cruiser, instead of the Millennium Falcon, my own mind choked to a stall. What mattered? I felt chilled. What did it matter? I was not in control nor did I want to be in control but here I was being spirited towards another the destiny. The victor of the light side. Their hero. But what future was there? Did it matter? Wait. Breath. Did the past matter? The Star Cruiser was being escorted by a fleet of Capital ships to a strong hold where the Alliance High Command was waiting for a much anticipated report out of events. Everyone wanted confirmation of rumors and they wanted details disclosed so history could be written. They could write history. I'd done my best to explain without giving too many details. They had enough to fill in the blanks with what they wanted recorded in time. They had what they wanted. So I continued to ask myself, did that matter anymore? Or what's more, did it matter to me anymore? That was the question spinning inside me in place of the single minded goal that had been taking up all my mental capacity up until these moments. What came next? And what would I do next. I wasn't a Palpatine and never would be. I was the one that ended the Palpatine Imperial family's reign and left it rot in exile on Exogol. It died with me. Only one other knew that truth.

Ben had returned to this presence but he wouldn't be a Skywalker anymore. He couldn't. He had killed the last of the Skywalkers. And he had killed the last of the Solos...and he had killed the last of the Organas. His family was gone. Wiped out. At my own insistence they had informed that he was alive and aboard the same ship. They also informed me that I couldn't see him for the time being. Everything was too fragile and I was too important and too needed to the cause. Those who had revived me were from the Rebel Alliance and I'd say they were friendly enough. They were mostly among the Capital leaders and they said no decisions were being made until all accounts were recorded.

In the few days, I had been aboard the Star Cruiser, I had told my version of event to many and told it quite frequently. To most, it was a gratifying tale to be heard and the telling fit their narrative. Plus, they all reassured me that we, together, had been victorious. It was made clear to me that I had no need to worry for the fate of the Galaxy was smooth sailing from here. I didn't say much in return. This was taken, through their eyes, as relief also and maybe I was even perceived to be at peace. However, the growing cold around me masked in white walls surrounding me was unnerving. It was evident that they weren't going to listen or answer questions. I had to figure out things for myself.

The first day, after the initial flurry of eager interrogations, I was graciously granted visitors to my new, unfamiliar, stark room. My accommodations consisted of a foam based decor padded to comfort levels outside my grasp. It reminded me of drifting in white space. Chilling. The catch for me being granted visitors was that I needed to be reached at all time by those looking. It was easiest for everyone if I could remind in a singular, well observed place. Ridiculously, I agreed to stay in these accommodations under their supervision. I agreed to comply. They needed to feel secure in there unbalanced times. They really did their best but the constant interruptions and lines of questioning did little to aid in my leisure. The visitor's familiar faces helped in return.

Poe was the first to visit me. Supposedly, he had been stalking outside the corridor to my presumed lodging since he was escorted to aboard He hadn't told me his reasoning for doing so but I was sure he wanted to see that I was actually alive. Finn, with Rose in tow, were not too long after him. Finn wouldn't let me go for the better part of an hour. His visit was the first time I could feel relaxed since the battling. I had momentarily forgotten that Finn had this effect over me and that his devotion was a strength among an abundance of his tackle skills. He had even been allowed to spend the better part of a day in my room doing his best to attempt to create an air of normalcy while I healed. I did not protest as I was ashamed to admit I didn't want to be alone. I had been significantly weakened by the taxation the force had taken on my body as well as the physical injures. Nonetheless, Finn soon had to return to his duties but others continued to filter in.

Chewbacca, Maz, Lando and others visited too. At the same time, they weren't allowing droids to see me. They claimed the droids were needed else were during this momentous period. The thinly veiled excuse was feeble but I didn't argue. They were right in thinking that I would use them to either try to send a message or gather information. This part was wasn't necessary yet and would only prove as a distraction. I had another plan of further gravity.

In the downtime, Lando had been a beacon of light who had returned various time to moderately help deconstruct the post trauma effects of battle, as a seasoned combatant. As well as, more importantly, process General Leia's passing. It had been the most devastating loss. He said since he had no duties left nor anyone left to answer to, he had no problem supporting the most triumphant among us. His humor was not lost on my. I could tell though he was concerned. It was clear to those who knew me best that something was amiss but knew enough not to push me. They also seemed to know I was withholding. Most of them did anyway. Poe had come and go several time too but he usually left in a huff after yelling. His tantrums might have been the only thing to evoke a genuine smile from me.

No matter who came to see me, I still felt alone. The emptiness created in the wake of the fieriness I had felt for so long and had peaked on Exogol had left me wanting. There was still heat left. Waiting? No, searching. My friends and visitors helped pass the time as my strength renewed but I would not be contained. Not by the Empire or the First Order or the Capital nor the Rebel Alliance. I was unbalanced and that could not be overshadowed by any turn of events. Everyone had to find it. The force is not a power you have. Its not about lifting rocks or winning battles or being victorious or writing down history. It's the energy between all things, a tension, a balance, that binds the universe together. My role here was done. Tension was pulling me else where. I had to bind my universe together. I was going to need my strength back for what was to come next. I had to be prepared.

By the third day, my physical strength had largely returned. It was enough. I could not be unbalanced any longer. I could not be alone any longer. In the hours prior, my mind had extended through out the vessel to know at least that Ben's heart was still beating too. He was alive and they had not lied to me about that. Ben was here. And he was not far. His presence was tugging at me. Yet, I did notice, he had not reached out. As if he was waiting. This dissatisfied me further. Wait. Calm your mind. When had I become dissatisfied? I could wait no longer. Breath. I crossed my legs. Be patient. I was unbalanced. I had to find evenness. I moved to the floor and crossed my legs again. Find my resolve inside and give in to the flow. It was the evening hours and my room had emptied. They were polite enough to station my guards outside in the corridors. For my safety of course. Now, sitting in the middle of the room, I straightened my body as the force began building around me. Breath. A silence fell and the air stilled. Focus. I extended my surrounded applying the force directly around me. Please search. Please find. Balance. I could feel the force churning. Balance? Find him. Find Ben.

There. I could see Ben. He was waiting. I could see his figure sitting down. Despite not being able to see his surroundings, . It was as if he were floating, motionless in time. I could see his fully clothed with arms shackled in front of him and feet planted on the ground. He looked cold. Here I was facing him unshackled but in the same position. We were both frozen as we breathed. My mouth went dry as I inhaled slowly. I didn't know what to say. Was this actually working. Or worse, would he open to me. Focus. It was hard to know if he would let me in again. Breath. Slower. There he was in front of me with his dark hair preventing me from seeing his full face. I noticed he was in the same black, tattered clothes I last saw him in. When we had...what had we done?

Then, swiftly, he looked up to meet my eyes through his hair. I hadn't noticed but I'd been leaning forward to get a better look at him. I slightly wavered and my arms briefly fluttered to steady myself. By this point, my heartbeat was racing tensely. I had to close my eyes and breath deeply to clam myself. Focus on the bond. Breath. I opened my eyes again. He wasn't moving or speaking. Stead. He was unreadable through the shared space. I had to say something to break the silence.

Faintly, as if to not stir the balance, I said, "Ben."

He responded without moving, "You look swell."

His words caught me off guard and I replied without much thought, "What?"

Ben leaned forward, brushing aside his hair, to say, "I wasn't sure I'd see you again." As if his subtle movement would help me hear him better through the force. This wasn't balance.

However, this was easy enough to reply with a simply, "Why?" Then the silence was back so I tried again, "I know why." I didn't want to give him too much but I could tell he was searching for something again as his eyes were now moving across my face. My lips parted in my growing anticipation.

He broke his silence to lead me towards his aim, "Are you finding the hospitality to your liking?"

Hesitation. This was progress and my mind was finding the force beginning to flow easier. Growing stronger between us as we settled into a conversation. "Yes. I gather that's a loaded question and not really what you want to ask me. Go on. Stop entertaining yourself."

He was quick to rely, "No, it's not what I'm trying to ask but I have to find entertainment. I'm not lavished in the same generosities as you are aboard this dull ship. Nor should I be." He drew in a long breath and sighed before trying again, "We don't belong here."

At the mention of "we" I could feel it rising. The cold somehow being pushed aside inside. I leaned in to match his sharp posture. Now he was getting to the point and I wanted to speed us along. I had waited long enough and it was time to put some kindling on the flame. I said coolly, "You don't speak for me. And you don't speak for them either."

The spark ignited. He felt it too. He chuckled, "You don't belong among them any more than I do. You just can't come to terms with it yet." A crocked smile crept up his face. "But you will." I paused. The heat was growing still but it wasn't as I had expected. Focus. I was staring. He was trying to read my face but even I didn't know what expression I was wearing. His smile faded. As I began searching his face, the flames reached his eyes. He continued, "You know it." He spat out. "You knew it when you woke up on this Star Cruiser. They don't need you anymore. They are grateful but you're in the way. You're an obstacle in the new order they are creating. We are relics of dying bloodlines." There it was again, the word "we". I was sweating at effort of keeping close to him. When I didn't bite, he continued, "I'm just bidding my time but I will leave before this Star Cruiser arrives at its destination."

Stop, my mind was groaning at the strain. He could sense it too and ceased speaking for a moment. I was searching. I had so many questions. After a moment my mind snapped, "Then why are you here?" A minute passed with no words but I could feel something rising to the surface. I had stuck the right cord. He wanted me to ask the right question. "Why are you on this ship? They should've shoot you down on sight?"

Ben replied, "I gave them an opportunity. One they were hoping to have."

What was he saying. I was not following, "Why did you give them anything, let alone an opportunity. You could've left the battle field the same way you arrived. You didn't need this. You can't be shackled this easily. Not without motive or meaning. What do you want?"

We both paused. He leaned in further to whisper, "I need to know just as you need to know."

I had reached exertion. He was maddening, "I tired of always guessing with you. I have no need for assumptions. I certainly do not need to be lead to answers others want to hear. This is not a riddle to solve or a game for you to play with me. I am not a toy to be picked up and thrown away as you see it fit. I grow tired of your constant...constant...always..."

He cut me off, "Stop, I'm not playing with you. I wouldn't dream it. I have always had one question for you. A singular question. One outside of the dark and outside the already know it but I can not answer the question for you. You have to find the answer for yourself first." We were both breathing heavy as he continued, "You still couldn't find it on the surface of Exogol. It was clear by your tears." Heat began to flutter between us. "I've given you my everything time and time again yet you still..." I could feel the force grow stronger around us as he spoke. Such feeling I was unaccustomed to. He spoke through clenched teeth, "Each time you turn me down, I knock down what I thought was in the way. The Rebel Alliance, the First Order, the Sith, Snock, Palpatine, myself. Everytime I ask, you run from me toward some destiny that other perceived for you. I told you your past in hopes of you finding of future of your own. One in which you carve. Before, you weren't thinking of yourself. You were thinking of duty. You were thinking of the darkness and lightness as separate entities" He exhaled his torment, "I destroyed everything in our path to ask you again." Silence fell once more. It was deafening. The eternity I felt with our foreheads pressed together on Exogol returned to me. Washing over my body. When I continued to stare across space at him, he raised his hands towards me though our force bond. Even shackled together I could tell he was reaching for mine in response the same way he had done in previously. Not enough to try to touch me but as a gesture to accompany his unflinching next words. He said the familiar phrase as he stared directly into my eyes.

He said, "Join me."

I made an audible noise I didn't recognize from myself. As if I was in pain but pleasure washed through me at his uttering those familiar words. I had to think. Think. Think of something. Anything to steady myself as the feeling of myself being sucked in increased around me. The rushing of it made me feel my heart beat in my ears. That made me drop my head. What was he saying? Wait, what did I want? I dared my eyes to look up at him with his arm still outreached to me. Not straining or wavering in the space between us. Our eyes locked again and the heat I found there did not weaver either. It caused me to straighten my posture. Was I leaning forward? His eyes were pulling me towards him. But I stopped leaning as the heat reached my chest and stung my beating heart. Say something. Then I knew and my only response I was able to muster came out in rush on emotions, "But I'm breaking." I stuttered. "M-My heart is breakin-ing...break-in-ng...it's all breaking!"

All around me I could feel pride, compassion, happiness, empathy, sympathy but also agony, hardship, sorrow, concern, anger and there it was...I could feel the fear in myself. The Galaxy was crying out with the same emotions after the fighting had stopped. I felt them in the force the moment I regained conciseness. They were flowing through the force and now into me. Could he feel them pulling at him too? If so, he did not show it for Ben was still sitting with shacked hands out stretched in my direction. Waiting. What mattered now was not this swirl of emotions around me but how I would react to them.

He had paused holding onto his resolve before patiently saying, "Good." He continued to hold my gaze. "Put it back together." The heat behind his words igniting as he hissed out his the last words, "This time do it with only yourself in mind. Then tell me what you find." The fire lit a fire across his face in the form of a benevolent grin causing him to chuckle out, "But do it in person."

Suddenly, fire engulfed me before spiting me, body and soul, out into the cold emptiness of my room again. I was left calling out his name to the white walls the could only reverberate back to me. I was still crossed legged on the floor but presently both arms we stretched out over my head as far as they could reach. My forehead pressed against the cool surface. Letting me know I was alone in the hollowness that surrounded me. My hands might have been slow to react but my resolve began to build, starting from my chest. How was I going to react?

It was time.


	3. Chapter 3 - Advancing

**STAR WARS: REVIVAL OF THE FORCE**

**CHAPTER 3 - ADVANCING**

_WARNING! SPOILERS! In this story, the timeline begins at the end of Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker. In this rendition, Kylo Ren does not collapse and die on Exogol after healing Rey. Instead, they must undergo something much harder than death told through Rey's point-of-view._

* * *

After my latest encounter with Ben, I was left gasping and breathless alone on the floor. We were aboard the same vessel yet torn apart again. The Star Cruiser had been transformed into an obstacle. An obstacle filled with an unimaginable number of mounting barricades separating us. Barricades created by the Rebel Alliance. I'd become so muddled up within the flow of the architecture that made up my carefully constructed path. Yet so quickly it seemed to be dissolving and being scattered across space trailing in our ships wake.

This time I had been left conscious but more perplexed by our interaction. What was he doing here? I had intentionally reached out with my mind to better understand his intentions but I didn't even get to ask what I had intended. What had he been talking about? Why did he talk so much?

The starkness of the surrounding white walls left me woozy. Our forcebond had been so fevered but suddenly fizzled out as I was spit back into my room. It was like a vacuum sucking the heat out through the damn noisy ventilation system buzzing overhead. I could feel a scream of frustration building up in my throat. I had certain duties. Did I? The room felt more empty then it had before. Of course I had duties. Without realizing it, I'd balled up my fists up at my sides. Breath again. I had to relax in order to think clearly.

In attempt to concentrate, I straightened up and crossed my legs on the solid ground. The glare of the room was a distraction now. I tried closing my eyes. I was alone in this room with only the sound of my heartbeat to fill the silence. As I quieted my mind, my breathing began to slow. There it is, find balance again I repeated to myself. I was sitting there inhaling and exhaling gently.

Breath. A thought crept through the fog in my brain. I simply thought, Ben mattered. He mattered to me. I knew that. The thought had deliberately risen to the surface as it mattered to me. I meditated on it. My legs started to fall asleep as my mind run with that train of thought for a while. I evoked enough energy to influence the flows pull and it made my body lift several inches off the floor. Everything was spinning and cascading behind my closed eyes.

I felt calm enough and certain enough of my intent that purposely I reached my mind out again. Softly this time just to prob. There, I could feel it. I could feel Ben's heartbeat. It was feverishly beating and it was close. My eyes shoot open. I was several feet off the floor now. My heart was pounding as a dim light flooded onto something new within my chest. It slammed me like a punch in the chest. It was a new realization. There.

Lightly, I jumped down out of a meditation pose to land flat on my feet. I wasn't waiting for an answer anymore. I had it and he was right. I had my answer and a clear path was solidifying before me. That's what he wanted. That's why he was here. That's what he was waiting for my to see. The new path. A path I had to choose for myself. What more, it was close because I had seen that he was close. Ben was close and there were no more false obstacles before me.

I was standing there thinking back to when this path had started unfolding. When had I been aware? When did he know? For a moment, I was transported back to when Ben was bent over mortally wounded amongst the ruins of his grandfather's greatest creation, the Death Star. I was soaked to the bone leaning over him as I healed the very wound I created. We had battled but never wanting to hurt the other. We had been thrown into others battles. Forced together by force and fate.

But it went back further then that. Our bond had been formed the first time we set eyes upon each other. Had it been necessary to wound him in order to heal him? To bring Ben back? My own lightsaber had scared his face as a visibly reminder. Yet after the Death Star, it too had vanished as if the physical reminder was no longer required. Ben Solo, or Ben Skywalker, had only started flooding back into his being when I showed him mercy amiss the rubble of the most destructive force the Galaxy had known.

I had been waiting, as if holding my breath, for him to catch up to me. Or so I thought. I had never wanted to hurt him or kill him or battle him. I craved so badly to meet Ben. I was forced to see him from across the Galaxy. I'd always wanted to join him but here I was playing catch up as he waited patiently.

Our mercy breathed life into something else that had been lying dominant. Something shared between us that I couldn't ignore. He was inside me because in the end, he had to heal me too. I'd completed my duties before I could be brought back by him. It had always ended with him. He gifted me with that burden, as I did to him. That was balance. We could only be balanced together.

At the thought, I wiggled my toes at the elation this lit inside me. I was still standing in the middle of the room but everything was expanding around me so I started walking towards the shower. As I strode across the small room, I stripped off my desert-ready attire from my tunic to my belt. Only stopping to shake off the worn boots. They all fell swiftly in my wake. Lastly, I ripped at my hair to undo the restraints that held it up. It too pooled at my shoulders. The swelling feeling of being in control swept through me and all my nerves felt energized and growing with each breath.

The excursion of melding our minds, had left me frazzled and damp. It was freeing to be bare. Before leaving this room, I had to clear my mind and clean myself up. At the moment, I knew the guards wouldn't be checking on me. I wouldn't have long until the next day rounds started or visitors would show up. Everything had to appear normal and look the part of passive captive. To do so, I had to rinse and hopefully clear my head too.

Ben was right, I had to find him. I had to give him my answer in person. Burning in my mind was his silhouette sitting captive with arms tied waiting. Involuntarily, I rubbed my neck as the searing perception of his lips lingering on my neck popped into my attention. I found it odd and pondered the feeling as I continued turning on the faucet. Shaking the feeling, I thought this time when I do see him in person, I would not be paralyzed with ambiguity. But how was I going to find him? How was I going to find his lips? I had to clear my head.

As I tiptoed into the shower stall, I hurriedly turned the faucet to hot and stepped into the water stream. I had been longing to be enveloped in warmth again and enjoy the sweet sting of the sweltering spray. Out of pure necessity, I had only rinsed myself once since the war ended but I'm not sure why. Maybe I'd been distracted in the midsts the aftermath and my own falling out. Still it didn't make sense to deny this simple comfort. Warmth was all around and the burning heat was beating down on my skin refreshingly.

Just then a shiver ran down my spine just as a sudden flash of memory flooded my consciousness. I was back on Exogol among the flames. Coarse hands were wrapped around me and I was in his grasp hovering just above him. And there it was again. The heat of our bodies locked in an embrace filled my gut and was bursting through my throat. I could taste him on my tongue and under my nose I could see his dark features lit by the glow of combat. The heat of my mouth over his to taste deeper while clutching his jaw between my hands.

Blinking I shook my head to see I was still alone in the shower stall. Inside the shower, the water was pouring down my naked body igniting my senses. Before I knew it, everything was a blaze and I involuntarily let out a soft moan. Where did that come from? Leaning my head back to catch the water flow, I closed my eyes to the feeling. Strangely, the feeling began pooling at my center. The flash back popped back into my field of view and I could see Ben restless face. I could feel Ben's hands running up my bare back leaving hot streaks. I sucked in a weary breath as I bent my head back and let the sensation roll down my body.

Played out behind my shut eyes, I could see him flipping me over in the ashes of Exogol. Then I could see him dipping his mouth down to run up and down the length of my neck. His body extending along mine and lengthening out to cover me. In the shower, his weight was pushing against me so much so that I gripped the wall for support as another wave rocked my body. His thighs pressed against my slender hips. My hand slipped on the wall as his hips pressed down harder. My naked, heated form was now leaning on the cool tiles for support and my knees felt weak.

The feeling in my core growing. It was building on each imagined thrust. Building until another moan echoed through out the shower. I could see it all behind my eye lids that is effecting my body. Now, I could see Ben's hands coming around to my chest almost cautiously. Then abruptly his hands worked on ripping my shirt open with several sharp motions that allowed him access with his mouth. His mouth fell on my bare chest, attacking it with a forcefulness that could be felt even here in the shower. At the sense, my bare nipples hardening as the slippery surface of the shower constrained them achingly.

Wait, I remembered this sense never happened? Yet my body was crying out for more. I put a hand over my mouth to try to control the panting. My core was pulsing with unfamiliar, appealing fieriness that caused me to bite my fingers as another wave washed over me cleansing my body simultaneously with the still running water. My other hand hastily fell to my abdomen but I jerked as I felt his teeth take a bite of my flesh. I staggered forward heavily into the wall. My hand was balanced between my scorching skin and the chilling wall but it kept searching downward. It was as if I was being pulled to the source. What was the source of all this?

My lips had tried to seal around the fingers but were proving useless to hush me. I thought my panting was falling on deaf ears. Except, I began to realize I wasn't alone. With the pulsing clouding my mind, I hadn't been able to focus. However, now it was apparent there was a smooth voice breaking through the steam. It was quiet at first as if measuring but soon the words were evident causing my eyes to gradually slid open.

"I couldn't help myself", Ben said. "You don't play fair." he continued.

He wasn't present but I could see him inward in our forcebond. It was drenched over my entire being. My other hand had not stopped but had reached the center and was sliding through the folds. At this, he let out a soft groan before starting again, "You reached out again and at first I could just feel your heart beat. I understand, you were testing or maybe..." My hand continued as I eagerly pressed my body into the wall, my back noticeably arching in response. "But then you were surging with this energy. When I took a longer look, you underdressed." He staggered on, "I was curious and you...you were completely captivating." His voice was rising in pitch as if angry, "You always are to me. Don't you at least understand how maddening it is." Abruptly, the fingers at my core plunged in between the folds. "You tease." He hissed.

This time my head arched backwards as my other hand fell from my lips to brace the wall. I was giving in and I let out something close to a whimper as the fingers moved leisurely in small circles inside me. My knees we shaking by the time he spoke again, "I do not beg but I-I must insist on an answer. You are more torturous then the damn Alliance themselves." His speech quickened, "They can not hold me yet I find I'm unable to break from you." In various forms of frustration, I leaned my forehead into the wall staring through the steam at the image of his dark figure looming there as he spoke.

At my long, relaxed exhale, I could felt it again, he was close. "Rey, I must have an answer. I've waited long enough." he asked breathlessly. At this plea, I felt a surge of energy animate my body, swinging me around to fall to my knees. Both my hands losing the hold they were caught in so I could catch myself on the floor. The sudden action had again submerged me in the full stream of the hot showers water. It was enough to breach the control he had on me, even if part of me was reluctant to end it. He did not put up a fight for control but let it fall. We would not fight anymore, that was clear. He remained present and I could tell he was the one wavering this time.

I let the rush of water bring me back to my senses before standing up to face him. It was time to show him my mercy again for he was grappling with the unease but this time he was shackeled and alone. He was taking all the risks thus far. It was my turn. For the first time, I stood straight and naked before him and said, "You will have your answer when I find you." My words were confident. "And I'm coming."

I stepped out of the shower and focused all of my force to push aside our communication out of focus. He did not protest or struggle as far as I could tell. I left just enough of a tie to hear the sound of his heart beating. It was beating hard and loudly, I'd use it to find him.

It was time and I was coming.


	4. Chapter 4 - Pursuit

**STAR WARS: REVIVAL OF THE FORCE**

**CHAPTER 4 - PURSUIT**

_WARNING! SPOILERS! In this story, the timeline begins at the end of Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker. In this rendition, Kylo Ren does not collapse and die on Exogol after healing Rey. Instead, they must undergo something much harder than death told through Rey's point-of-view._

* * *

Determination pulsed heavily through my veins as I continued to adorn my blackest combat attire. It was thick and tight. I'd be a shadow along the edge of anyone's vision. No one would see me. It had always meant to protect against unknown obstacles but what about the known? I knew them well. Stop it!

I shook my head to rattle those thoughts out. My mind was still re-forming after the latest forcebond with Ben, who was still locked away somewhere close by aboard this very ship. Based on the remaining force reverberations clinging to my consciousness, he wasn't far. It had only been minutes since our forcebond but it was as if he was there in the room. As I strapped on my boots, I brushed aside another worse thought, what if it was a trap. I paused for a deep breath. Hmmm...the smell of him filled my nose. At this, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up as if he was standing behind me, close enough to feel his hot breath on my neck. Heat began warming my center. Stop it! Whoosh, exhale long out. Time to go.

I buckled on the belt that held my lightsaber. It didn't matter if he was still watching or peering through our forcebond, I had to focus on the obstacles at hand. I continued playing scenario after scenario over in my head. To prepare, I repeated them to myself as I wrapped my forearm guards on slowly. A sigh escaped my lips as another notation began to settle in the back of my mind. How could I possibly be prepared?

I had trained to battle the dark side and resist the temptation of giving in to fear. I shielding my mind against those who would hurt me...or from those who would harm those I loved...or from those who would throw me off balance. I had never trained for a moment when the lines would blur. Yet, now how could I judge the best course of action. I inhaled another long breath.

I knew if I dwelled on these thoughts for much longer, I'd talk myself out of this absurd plan or follow another path. I slipped on black gloves, there was no time to think. I'd known all along that he was always the light at the end of the tunnel. A force I didn't yet fully understand was pulling us together, bonding us. This was my path.

These blinding white walls seemed even more stark against the dark material covering me from head to toe. I no longer belonged here. Well, I wouldn't know until I started. It was time to find my own balance. I stepped one boot outside into the hallway and instantly flames started flickering in my peripheral vision. Yes, there was no turning back.

Before I knew it, I was charging forward without hesitation and the empty hallway fell away as I burst through a medal hatch that led into a series of small bulkheads accompanied by ladder passages requiring. This part required some simple parkour maneuvers. I stayed flat against the walls as I quietly moved closer to the center of our forcebond. Guiding me.

There had been no one was in sight thus far. To play it safe, I jumped into an open gap out of sight. With my chest heaving, I took stock of our force pulse, which wasn't difficult since it now felt like it was ringing in my ears. After quickly scanning the room, I closed my eyes to focus. Behind my eye lids, I saw his face solidifying. There he was smirking surrounded by darkness. Even shoved in a tiny space, this made me laugh. I stifled it as a hand full of patrol guards passed by. As excepted, the black helped conceal me hiding among the pipes.

Seizing the opportunity, I crouched and moved quickly down the rest of the corridor to swiftly emerge from behind a rolling sliding door. It unfortunately made too much noise. My pace quickened as the force ringing in my ears spread toward my chest. Heat blossoming . It pulled me in a wild combination of right and left turns with blurred figures only briefly coming in and out of focus in my peripheral vision. My breathing hastened but not from the physical excursion. Or maybe that was him stealthily filling my mind with the images collected from the surface of Exogol. What would I do when I found him? Wait, there was no time for those thoughts right now. I'll worry about it when the time came.

With a swoosh, I landed a jump from one of the suspension bridges to one on a lower level. At the same moment my feet touched medal, my heart throbbed and I lost my footing then fell forward onto my fists. My breath whooshed out of my lungs loudly. Distraction could cost me too much yet here I am losing my center. This stumble caught the attention of members of the engineering staff, who started shouting. Damn. I took off at a sprint towards a near by drop hatch.

There was an obstacle in my way. Before I knew it, the time for a decision was upon me. It was hard to see me due to all the blackness covering me. Emptying my mind, I let my training reflexes kick in so I kept my lightsaber holstered and dropped low to kick their feet out from under them. They fell backwards over the banister and over the edge. They didn't see it coming. They were falling. This was not their fault. Standing up straight, I reached out my hand to grab them with the force. I dragged them over to another ledge to deposit them safely.

Then just as I was thinking, that was a close one, there was another obstacle sneaking up behind me. Turning as if on a swivel, I used the force to stop them in their tracks. Breath slowly. With a swift swoosh, I pushed them back against the wall. Another popped out from behind another hatch but only to be caught in my flurry of quick strikes, which paralyzed them. Wham, they dropped. To have another take their place but this time my strike landed on something harder like armor. This brought focus to the emblems of the Rebel force on their jumpsuits. Blows were flying and from multiple bodies and I felt ice in my veins now. The heat was fading. This was becoming a battle instead of a pursuit. This is what I was dreading. This had to stop here.

Pulling back, I let out a breath that turned into a bellow that reached down into my center to extract the force. I forced it out into a blow that hit them all at once. It pulled them all simultaneously into the air and held them there suspended. Before being lowered to the ground unconscious, I sprinted out of the room and down a different corridor. It was darker but the pulse was strong. I could feel it vibrating through my spine. Up and down and out of my chest as if it were in rhythm with my hammering heartbeat. So close. There.

Even at the time, I knew. I knew it was too easy. My hand was on the door latch. I focused myself to and closed my eyes to call on the force again. It was readily avaialble and flowing out of me effortlessly at this point. I used to to access the control panel and unlock the door. This was my last barrier to him. I exhaled gradually but still no one was pursuing me anymore. Then I turned the handle and flung the door open.

Finally, I hurried into the small expanse. Unsurprisingly, the space was dimly light and my eyes were having a hard time adjusting. I couldn't see him bit I could feel him here. The flame linked to my mind was blazing but I still couldn't see with my own eyes. Panic set in. A wail escaped my lips and I throw my arms out as I advance in further. I couldn't stop myself as the momentum from the rumble I could still feel fresh on my knuckles.

It seemed to be a trend with him that I leave myself unguarded. The moment appear to get away from me or is it that they have been so fleeting? Either way, it doesn't change the fact that he was able to easily flank me from behind after a measly five steps into the room. I felt Ben's arm around my hip first. Gentle it guided before his other arm swung around my throat forcing me backwards into his body. It was a sobering jolt.

He could feel him smirking against my neck. He'd bent forward to lay his head on my shoulder with his mouth pressed firmly into my neck. It's odd that his touch felt icy against my skin to draw goosebumps. I'd been so on fire that he was melting into me in comparison. Why hadn't I checked my side before entering the room? It was a padawan mistake but he even predicted that part too.

I gave in and didn't struggle in his grasp. He savored the moment and switched his head to my other shoulder dragging his nose across the nape of my neck. I held my breath, scared to move. What was a scared of? Not of him of course. I came for him. Now we were here together. Like on Exogol, heat engulfed us surrounded by darkness.

I let out the sharpe cry I'd been holding in and as if on queue, he sighed into my ear, "I've been waiting." Before being able to process his words, he took full advantage of my position and bite down on my ear lobe. When I jumped, he reeled me in closer with both arms but the grip on my waist increased as he said, "You shouldn't have kept me waiting so long." I could feel his lips on my neck. I began to relax but his grip on me continued to hold tight.

I felt a sudden confidence grow inside and stumbled out, "W-what's next?"


	5. Chapter 5 - Arrived

**STAR WARS: REVIVAL OF THE FORCE**

**CHAPTER 5 - ARRIVED**

_WARNING! SPOILERS! In this story, the timeline begins at the end of Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker. In this rendition, Kylo Ren does not collapse and die on Exogol after healing Rey. Instead, they must undergo something much harder than death told through Rey's point-of-view._

* * *

Shoulders squared and louder this time, I demanded, "Ben, what's next?" I didn't have to wait long for an answer.

In the blink of an eye, his dark figure manifested directly in front of me and looming. My heart rate surged anew at being hoisted at the waist with a muscular arm spinning me around. Instinctually, I relaxed into his embrace as my back was pressed up against the wall beside the doorway inside the darkened the cell. I gasped while feet hovering over the medal surface of the ground and one firm hand holding me at my bent base. To further lift, I involuntarily wrapped a leg around him. I felt I was doing it all incorrectly but I just needed to secure myself as movement consuming us and hastily finding places to hold onto each other as we melted into a single form. I could feel my face flushing as he'd already gone to work on making his long awaited claim reality.

Fingers digging into my side harder now that I was positioned, I could now feel his mouth running up the front of my neck then leaving quick kisses down my jaw line. Pointing my face up towards the ceiling. Yet again, I was unable to see so I closed my eyes in order to heighten my sense of touch. I could feel him under me. I could feel him pressing up from below too. His mouth was now grazing the skin at the base of my ear where I could hear how much he wanted me too. I freed my hands to stead myself by gripping at his shoulders. This pushed his mouth back to my neck where he sank his teeth in and began leaving wet marks where his tongue tasted me.

There I could feel him against my upper thigh so I pulled my leg further around his hips to encourage. I was through with foreplay. I wanted all of him. I couldn't stand it. My clothes felt tight around my throbbing and my blood was rushing away from my face now. I couldn't breath or gasp air quick enough as I began to pant. I hardly noticed that his hands had left my side and were roaming across my form. Still holding be against the wall, he'd dipped a hand below my waist. Wait, when he'd he leveraged that? It drifted down the front of my leg over to the thigh. For a moment I was distracted when his mouth latched onto the nape of my neck where I could feel his teeth grazing my skin. But I was brought back to my lower body when I felt his hand find its way up past my thigh and into my core. The pressure made my head swing down and hand swing up to grab his arm. Unsure why because it felt good.

Then, before I could make any other action, he took advantage of my head tilt to cover my lips with his own. It was at this point that pure heat was feeding my being. Life sprung into my limbs and instead of just holding on, I started feeling myself squeezing tighter around him. My fingers dug into the arm that was rubbing my core. Breathing back into his moth as hot kisses fell into each other. Kissing him back, our tongues were entangled and engaged in a new discipline he seemed to be trying to teach me. To disappoint I was nothing but a raw bundle of nerves reacting.

He would teach me what the universe held at it's center. His whole hand grabbed my center roughly. He wasn't holding back even with the clothes rubbing in between us, I could stop from bucking my hips into him. I could still feel him growing on my thigh as his hand did all the work. Ben was the missing piece to the equation. I had felt it since the moment we first locked eyes. A force was pulling us in stronger than any battle field or any alliance or any friendship. I had not been wrong in the choices that led me here. This was too much to fit into a single rationalization. To fit into a single moment. Remember to breath. Everything was happening so fast. It was spreading like wildfire. I couldn't breath again. I needed balance.

I tried to turn my face away in an attempt to take in a gulp of air but only managed one before his lips found mine again. His hand did not let up but was kneading against me faster and striking the top with his palm while his fingers pressed in. I couldn't help but whimper out softly as my back arched agains the wall holding me up. What was happening? I'd never trained for this. He bite my bottom lip until I could feel it swelling along with my clit. He wasn't letting up on it and it feel sore and almost painful but I wanted more. There had to be more. Where was this all building to? It was too painful. I needed him.

Without warning his lips released me in a growl, "Now that you have arrived, you are mine." His chest was heaving heavily against mine and he leaned his forehead forward into mine with a thud. His hand fell away and I was left gasping...and wanting. I was speechless at this point. Lost for mortal words. What was he doing? He quickly rushed out his next thought, "You are right of course. I can feel your mind contending with itself and a many millennia of reasoning but I'm here now." He paused to gently kiss my bottom lip in a calculating measure as I could feel my own brow beginning to flinch. "I will unleash you and finally you will grow with me to show us both what balance truly is. Not these...these...this humanity." He thrust up from below. Hard. My head fell backwards with a moan. He licked my exposed neck then pulled my hair so I'd look him in the eyes again.

I could feel his dark hairs brushing my cheeks again as he pushed our foreheads together. My cheeks were red with heat and growing anger. I was not a toy to play with or tease. Finally and with a smile he said, "You just have to give into me." Again wet, hot kisses. "You have to trust me." This time he grinded his hips in deeper against my pants as he covered my mouth to muffle the groan he knew would follow. "But alas time and these...moments are fleeting." he sighed.

Then as I went to respond, he lifted me off the wall by the ass and spun me around completely to slam my back into the adjacent wall. My feet fell back to touch the floor as the ground made reality set in. I was confused but didn't resist. My arms feel limp at my sides and heat flooded away. Cold drifted back into focus as my flat back came to a rest on the wall. I watched his fluid movements as one leg pushed outward to spread both of mine legs whilst his left arm came to rest on a spot on the wall that was level with my head but not touching me. His dark figure again leaning over me. Close enough to where I could still feel his warmth inches away.

The sudden change caused me to swallow my words and simply stare straight ahead into his face. Searching. Hoping. His eyes were only half covered in light and I was unsure how to read the emotions playing on his features. He seemed to be searching too. But for what? Why the sudden change. Cold as we may be now I still felt the need for him. I could see it in his pants too. I gave him the opportunity to continue speaking, partly because I was unsure what to say next. I had already asked him what was to come next. I had made it this far. I needed him to tell me.

After a long pause, he tilted his head in slightly to whisper softly, "This next part is going to hurt my love." I felt my chest grow tight in response.

To my horror and surprise, his left hand reached out to grip my throat. Hard. My feet slightly lifting off the ground with the applied pressure but I didn't put my arms up or struggle. He was calm so I stayed calm still searching his face. He had told he over and over to come to him as well as trust him. I had trusted my life in his hands this far. He needed me too. He had admitted it as much himself. If I was willing to do all of this, it was time to give in to him fully. His grip tightened as a thunder of noise exploded behind us outside the cell.


End file.
